A (lighthearted) Biblical Case that God is a Hard Rock Fan

A humorous and fun look at the biblical evidence that God prefers listening to hard rock music. He is called the "rock" in Scripture.

Go to any Christian retailer’s music section and you’ll find a variety of music: gospel, hip hop, Southern gospel (country), contemporary Christian (pop), and hard rock.  Whatever style of music you prefer, there may be Christian artists in that genre.

However, what I if I told you that the Bible indicates that God is fan of hard rock?  Yep, the Creator of the universe and all life prefers hard rock — and prefers it loud!

Don’t believe me?  Well, let me show you.

What the Bible Says Accompanies God

In Exodus, when God showed up on Mount Sinai, we see what accompanies God when he appears: “On the morning of the third day there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud on the mountain and a very loud trumpet blast, so that all the people in the camp trembled” (Exod 19:16).

Notice what accompanies God: thunder, lighting, smoke, and a loud instrument.  We see these same things in other passages as well:

Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off
– Exod 20:18

After it his voice roars; he thunders with his majestic voice, and he does not restrain the lightnings when his voice is heard.
– Job 37:4

From the throne came flashes of lightning, and rumblings and peals of thunder, and before the throne were burning seven torches of fire, which are the seven spirits of God,
– Rev 4:5

Then God’s temple in heaven was opened, and the ark of his covenant was seen within his temple. There were flashes of lightning, rumblings, peals of thunder, an earthquake, and heavy hail.
– Rev 11:19

So, as you can see, the Bible shows that when God makes His glory known there is thunder, lighting, smoke, and that it is very, very loud.  These are all indications of hard rock music.  I’ll explain how in a bit.  But first, Scripture also shows us that God has a preference when it comes to instruments.

What the Bible Says About God’s Preferred Instruments

In multiple passages we discover that God prefers string instruments:

Give thanks to the Lord with the lyre; make melody to him with the harp of ten strings!
– Psalm 33:2

Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn!
– Psalm 57:8

Then I will go to the altar of God, to God my exceeding joy, and I will praise you with the lyre, O God, my God.
– Psalm 43:4

Raise a song; sound the tambourine, the sweet lyre with the harp.
– Psalm 81:2

After that you shall come to Gibeath-elohim, where there is a garrison of the Philistines. And there, as soon as you come to the city, you will meet a group of prophets coming down from the high place with harp, tambourine, flute, and lyre before them, prophesying.
– 1 Sam 10:5

What these passages reveal is that God loves the sound of stringed instruments, especially the harp and lyre, and sometimes the tambourine.

Now that we’ve seen what it is that accompanies God, and which type of instruments he prefers, let’s put it all together.

The Bible Shows God Prefers Hard Rock Music

When we put all these things together, we discover that God likes hard rock music.  First we’ll look at those things that accompany God.

Four key components show up when God is around: thunder, lightning, smoke, and a loud instrument.  The thunder depicts a heavy kick drum (probably a double kick) and booming bass guitar.  The lightning symbolizes the crashing cymbals and shredding riffs.  Smoke portrays the pyrotechnics and smoke machines that are part of any giant hard rock performance.  The loud instrument blast is the volume turned up to 11 on a guitar playing power chords.

Now that we understand the imagery of those things that accompany God, let’s turn our attention to His preferred instrument.

The Bible indicates that God prefers hand-held stringed instruments: the harp and lyre.  Today, these would be guitars.  While pianos are nice, they can’t be held in your hand.  Violins and similar string instruments are okay, but the guitar alone most closely fits the idea of the ancient harp and lyre.

Not only does God prefer guitars, He likes electric guitars.  Why not acoustics?  Simple: they have to be loud and only amplified electric guitars cranked to 11 fit that.

Sometimes the Bible includes the tambourine.  That’s a simple one: the percussion section.  Today, that would include the drum kit, the tambourine, and the cowbell.

“You must be Joking,” You Say?

Well, yes and no.  Yes, because the Bible doesn’t really say God prefers one style of music or the other.  No, because God likes music regardless of style (He created music, so He must like it).

Whatever type of music you prefer, enjoy it.  If someone likes a different style, don’t judge or condemn them.  Each person is unique, and God likes music regardless of it’s genre (though I’m certain that polka and bagpipes aren’t on his heavenly MP3 player).

Now, for your listening pleasure, here’s some TFK (and, yes, they are definitely Christian):

About John L. Rothra
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